As someone who lost their mother quite early, I can empathise and acknowledge the worth of any woman in life. A mother do not have to be biological, instant or immaculate, just to be there is enough.
Mother’s Day.
A day to express appreciation for Mothers’ by giving them cards, gifts and spending time with them. It’s an opportunity to embrace the contribution mothers make to their families and society.
A common thread is to celebrate the role our mothers play in our lives and thank those who have had a significant impact on our lives. To be loved, Mother’s Day can be a joyous occasion built on positive memories. Expressing the love, you share for your mother only strengthens the bond.
Positive side.
Mothers should be valued and recognised for the support they give. The celebration can be a source of connection, joy and appreciation.
Mother’s Day can be a time when families share their experiences and strengthen the relationships, they have with family members.
Ways we celebrate Mother’s Day.
- Express appreciation
- Quality time together
- Family gathering
- Creative / DIY unions
However, it can be challenging for those who have loved and lost. Grieving can muster strong emotions sometimes laden with guilt, sadness. At this time, it is important to seek support from family, friends or mental health professionals.
Challenging for some.
On Mother’s Day it can be difficult for those facing mental health issues:
Relationships.
Relationships may have been difficult and at this time, people can suffer from heightened stress or emotional distress.
Infertility / Loss of offspring.
It can be a reminder of unfulfilled hopes of motherhood for some. It might bring back a traumatic memory of a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. This will trigger all sorts of mixed emotions.
Social expectations.
Social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy or comparison. People who don’t often conform to traditional family structures or face challenges may feel the added strain.
Charged feelings of isolation.
Feelings of depression or anxiety are intensified in this period with individuals comparing themselves to others.
Social Pressure.
There can be the expectation on Mother’s Day that everyone must celebrate it in the same way. We must all take part in themed activities and spread happiness.
Mother’s Day can evoke very powerful emotions about present and past relationships. On one hand, it can muster feelings of love and appreciation but on the other can be a breeding ground for trauma, past experiences and unresolved issues.
What can we do?
Loss.
It’s important to acknowledge these emotions of grief, sadness and loneliness. A sensible move would be to seek support from a professional or family / friends who will understand. Share your feelings and be open with others about how you will support each other.
Acknowledge differences.
Understanding the different perspectives associated with Mother’s Day and appreciating it can be a mix of emotions for some. This includes being sensitive and not assuming before making unsuitable comments which may cause distress.
Self-care.
Mothers need to communicate their needs and set boundaries that people respect. Any celebrations on Mother’s Day should be adapted to the individual. Take time out for activities that soothe, calm and relax from the burdens of life.
Celebrate you.
Take a step back to uncover your strengths. Focus on the support, love and nurturing you provide for others. Highlighting the positive parts of your journey as a parent.
Avoid social media.
Take a break from social media, don’t judge yourself by others on these platforms. Limit the amount of time you spend sharing and comparing.
Reach out.
Communicate with others that support is needed and talk about your feelings to help process them. The level of well-being needs to be watched and important to prioritise your mental state during this emotional time of the year.
How we can support Mothers.
- Allow mothers to openly communicate in a comfortable environment.
- Share responsibilities so that Mothers don’t feel relied upon and exploited.
- Offer emotional support and actively listen.
- Reduce the stigma of someone seeking help. Normalise the need to go to therapy.
- Increase and promote awareness and equip mothers with information on stress management.
- Promote a work / life balance and support a healthy environment for women to spend time in.
Inclusion.
The celebrations should include non-biological mother figures or those who have influenced lives in a nurturing way.
An important point to consider is Mother’s Day is a complex and individualised event and people respond to it in different ways.
ZOE FURNISS 